Patience.... sometimes I have NONE!!

It seems so hard lately not to loose my cool with Ashlee, she knows how to keep pushing and pushing and OOOOOOOOOhhhhhh it makes me so mad.... count to ten, count to one hundred and sometimes that is not enough.  I love my kids and I love being at home and spending this time with them while they are young, but sometimes I think I will LOOSE all sanity!!
How do I not just lose it?  what am I to do? How can I get her to understand that is NOT what you do to your mother or friend or anyone for that matter? Here is a little sample of my morning....I can sure tell today is a Monday.  I try to start out in a good mood.  I just get back from my work out at 640am, Eric asks if I would like to hop in the shower before he leaves.  Oh yes, I am getting dressed and hear Sawyer awake in his room, Eric goes in, changes him, sets him at the table for breakfast. Eric is off to work! 
Sawyer is eating french toast sticks on his own now and I also give him a few bites of my banana and cream of wheat.  All is going smoothly, we head up to see if sister is awake.  First thing she says, "leave I and staying in until 8, I am still tired." I tell her it is 745am close enough to 8.  It quickly turns sour as soon as Ashlee is up.  Mom,"I need help with my shirt, I cannot get the bottons done, I need help coming my hair, I need help or you to watch me brush my teeth."   "I need a bowl for my pancakes, I need, I need"....the to top it off she is constantly pushing and poking and taunting her brother, now I have to listen to his whining and trying to escape her.  I ask her to stop and go do something different, she does not even aknowledge that I said anything.
I suggest we all go for a walk to the park.  We are not even half way and the girl is talking SMACK, telling me that I HAVE to go to the big park with the slides and I have to let her play on them.  I can tell how this trip is going to work out. 
At the park things are starting to look up, but then she takes off on her bike and I yell "wait" three or mores times...nothing!  All I hear is some giggling and " I will be ok, mom" and she is only 4! Finally it is time to go home and I have her rounded up, helmet on and Sawyer int he stroller ready to roll.  We get half way around the back of the park and on the way home, little smarty think s she can just head out on her own without waiting for mom andstroller. I yell at her to wait for us and she just smirks and starts going faster!! OMG I cannot believe this day!
It will get better...It will get better, count to ten 1...2...3..4..5..6.7...8.9..10!!!